fredag 22 mars 2013

"You need to stop..." ♥ 39

The mood was so tense and I hated not being able to read Sam's thoughts.
Dana hadn't spoken for the whole ride. She just sat quietly in the back with her phone in her hand and her eyes fixated on the screen.
I could tell Sam's brain was overworking itself and I put my hand over his. He seemed a bit confused, but almost instantly reflected the smile on my face and leaned over to kiss me on my cheek.
We were finally in our house and Dana was standing a bit unsure, keeping a distance from me and Sam. Sam flung open the door and stomped into the house. I stepped inside, and was about to lock door, when I noticed Dana wasn't inside. I turned around and saw her standing on the driveway.
"Dana?" I closed the door behind me and went up to her. She was facing the other way so I couldn't see her face. I put my hand on her shoulder and gently turned her to face me. She didn't make any resistance, and I could see she was crying. The tears were streaming down her cheeks, and had left mascara stripes. Without saying a single word, I drew her into a hug, and let her cry on my shoulder, while stroking her hair. This girl was Wilmer's daughter. Wilmer's daughter. I held her in my arms, and I couldn't help thinking that she was the only thing I had left of him. "Demi," she said and took one step back. I waited for her to continue, but we were interrupted by Sam's voice. "What are you doing out there?" I squeezed her hand, but this time she quickly pulled it back to her side and ran inside without giving me a single look, or continuing what she had started.
With a confused mind, I went after her, and reached Sam, who was waiting for us by the door.
"What's wrong?" He grabbed my hand, and lowered his voice, so that Dana couldn't hear him. I sighed and shrugged. I was getting tired of him giving Dana the cold shoulder. "Ask her," I said and walked past him into the kitchen. I saw Dana standing in the livingroom, staring out of a window. When I was having bad days, that's what I used to do too. It felt so relaxing, knowing there was a world out there that I hadn't yet explored, and that I hadn't had a bad day on. A world where there might be a place, I'd be happy someday. I wondered, what Dana was thinking of.
"Dana, are you hungry?"
She quickly looked up, as if she someone had splashed cold water on her, during her sleep. But she nodded indifferently, even though I could see the longing in her eyes. I just didn't know what she was longing for. For food? For a stable home? For someone to care?
I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. I was scanning it, when her smooth voice filled the room. "I can just have some cereal, if you have any." I closed the refridgerator door and turned to face her. "Please," She added and I could tell she was inwardly rolling her eyes. I felt like rolling my eyes too, at her sudden change of attitude. It was as if our moment outside never happened. But I just gave her a cheerful smile, and brought down a box of cereal, from the lower shelf. I poured it in a bowl, and gave her a tall glass of milk with it. Then I awkwardly passed it to her. I saw a little spark ignite in her eyes, at the sight of food, and I wondered how long it had been since she had eaten last. But her blue eyes, turned plain again, as she looked at the food and then at me. "Is this how you eat your cereal? With a glass of milk?" Her tone was mocking and made me squirm. But I put my chin up. I was not going to let a seventeen year old make me feel bad about a bowl of freaking cereal! "Yes," I nodded and put on a what-that's-not-how-everybody-eats-cereal face. She snorted and mumbled, "weird". I left the kitchen and went to my room. Sam was sitting on our bed, going through Dana's bags. I felt an automatic reflection, as a woman, to stop him. "Hey!" I reached the paper he was holding, and yanked it out of his hand. He looked up at me, with a hint of annoyance in his eyes. "Did Dana give you permission to read this?" Sam rolled his eyes, but shook his head like a little boy that had been caught stealing from the cookie jar. "No, but babe, she is," he lowered his voice to make sure she couldn't hear us, "exchanging letters with someone, and I need to know what it's about." He stretched his arm out, to take the paper back, but I hid it behind my back, and he sighed, with a little smile on his lips. "You're so stubborn." Yes, he was right. I was stubborn.
"Why don't you just go ask her?" I asked him.
Sam shook his head. "I don't really feel like talking to her." I saw the hurt expression on his face and plumbed my self down next to him. I put my hand on his cheek, which caused him to turn to face and kiss me gently on my lips. I could feel him smile.
"Can I use the shower?"
Sam jumped from me and I inwardly cursed Dana. Had that girl ever heard of privacy? I took a breath and reminded myself, that she wasn't the usual seventeen year old. She was leaning against the door opening with her arms crossed over her chest. "Just like high school all over again," she mumbled, but we both heard it. "Can I use the shower?" She repeated and I noticed how she wasn't meeting my eyes, and she wasn't looking at Sam neither. I could imagine how hard this was for her. Having a brother that wasn't speaking to you, and moving in with his girlfriend when you had only known her for a couple of hours? I got up from the bed and got ready to leave the room so that she, atleast, could have some privacy, (maybe she could learn from it too!) and Sam followed. She walked past us and into the bathroom. "Do you need a towel, pyjamas, or anything like that?"
The seconds passed without her answering and I was just about to let out a very frustrated sigh when her blond head peaked out behind the door. She looked straight into my eyes and gave me a sincere smile. "Thank you, that'd be nice." And just in that moment, behind the wall she was putting up, and beneath all of that make up and attitude she used as a shield, I recognized the girl Sam had shown me in the picture. Something about her reminded me of my younger self. I smiled back at her and left the room to bring her the stuff. Sam was waiting for me in the hall. "You don't have to be her little puppet. You don't have to be this nice to her, when she's acting like a brat." I spun around, and for some reason the words he said hurt me too. This seventeen year old girl standing in my shower, could've been me. The words Sam was saying, and the names he was calling her could've been directed towards me if I never got the help I needed.
"Sam, I love you, and that's why you need to stop. Stop treating her as if she has done something terrible. She did what she thought was the only way for her to survive. She came to this town, with no money and no one to help her. She was lonely and she wasn't secure. She needed fast money, and prostitution's probably the way she learned about first. I'm sure she already feels ashamed and disgusted with herself, so she certainly doesn't need you  making her feel like shit." I took a deep breath and the expression on Sam's face was priceless. He looked as if I had slapped him. Really hard too. I chose a pink towel, with roses embroidered along the sides. "Okay?" Sam nodded and I turned my heel and went back into my room.

I had lost Wilmer, and I felt as if it was my job to make his daughter feel loved, since her dad was no longer around to love her.

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